this boner is exhausting
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
