yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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