Im at strip club and am horny
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
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This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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