She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
