Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
