I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
