Buhtt sex?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
