I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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