I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
