I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
