to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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