It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think my moral compass just broke
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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