For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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