She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
