yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
