I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
