listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
