You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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