I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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