i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i think i just lost a toe
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
