Say something about gay babies.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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