I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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