Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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