That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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