Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
