One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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