2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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