every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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