Apparently you make a good broom.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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