Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
