3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize