Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
