Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
