i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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