highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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