its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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