Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
