After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Randomize
