Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
