I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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