My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
