my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
