God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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