to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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