That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
