The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they need to just BURY HIM!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So vagazzling was a success
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
