What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
