I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
