Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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