Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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