guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
