just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
