i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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