So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
