oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize