You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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