you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
