I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
