sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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