It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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